She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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