she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
