Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
