I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
