you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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