Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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