so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
