Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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