i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My balls are so social today.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
