don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Be still, my beating vagina.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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