so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
