My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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