You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
