I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
