We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
