Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
