yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Randomize
