He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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