it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
