so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
