Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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