He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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