I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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