suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
