that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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