that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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