i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
