He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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