i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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