dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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