i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
