porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
