I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
