Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
