My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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