if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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