I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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