apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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