I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
