i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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