the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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