i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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