I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
