i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
