i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
