I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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