Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
