WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
