Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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