Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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