His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
