Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
