Fuck appropriateness.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
