the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
