so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
