well I can't set my house on fire every night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
