he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
