I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
