Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
