with your own penis?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
