I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
