You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
