another moral hangover. fuck.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
