So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
